It's 2012

Welcome New Year!!!!!!!!

Last year brought many changes Good and uncomfortable. I built myself from the ground up and I also accomplished so much. This is the year that I am learning to Love myself and  build a life for Hunter! I was driving to work today thinking that this is not going to be forever. It's just the way it needs to be right now. I have been listening a lot lately and for the next month I am going to do less talking and more listening. I am also going to  keep doing random acts of kindness. I think it's important for my well being and the people who enjoy life with me. I am ready to have a beautiful life!! I am proud to be me!! I am grateful for my beautiful son, my friends and family. This year is looking very brights, it's the year dreams come true.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about beauty and what that means to me. I use to believe that beauty was my outer shell. I believed that if I was beautiful on the outside then I'd be happy on the inside. This I am finding to be untrue. I have a heart and soul that needs to find happiness. This week I am working on standing up for myself. I believe that if I stop letting people try to bring me down and control my life. I'll be much happier.

I feel like it's time for me to share a little about myself. In my past I picked people in my life who controlled and abused me. This last week I see in my self that I am still allowing people to run my life. I am still allowing other people to hold me down, because I am afraid of being alone. Also because I have guilt and these  2 things are holding me hostage. I stayed in relationships because I did not want to walk the earth alone, because I was afraid. I have let  people mistreat me, just so I wouldn't have to be alone. The fear has ran my life, but I am not alone. I have felt alone, I have felt fear, but I want to feel full. I won't die if I don't have friends, If I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not alone. I am filled with so much love and happiness. I have wonderful people in my life and I also have a wonderful life ahead of me. I am grateful to be the women that I am. I was consumed in so much negative that people wanted to be no where near me. Each day that I walk more into the light I get a warmth in my heart.

Losing weight has so much to do with work from the inside out. This year I am giving up smoking for Today. I can smoke tomorrow if I want, but today I am giving up smoking. Just like I can eat cheese, drink milk, eat ice cream and drown myself in dairy if I like, but today I'm not eating it, because it makes my tummy hurt!. I will love myself this year...I'll have a beautiful and healthy body! It's time that I fill my temple with love and don't miss treat it. In a few weeks I am going to start the cleanse for my body, but right now I am weening off certain items one at a time, this is all for good health for my life. I am also ridding myself of the past and moving forward!! I am free to live my life. I no longer need to feel bad about who I am or what I was. I am not that person anymore. I am a women beauty that walks in light and love. This year is going to bring me financial  security, a beautiful life with my son, a man that I will fall in Love with, a business that I have always dreamed of and a healthy body, mind and soul!! My the new year bless all of you!!